Where’s Waldo? Hiding from the Government, that’s where.

Sharing Sharing Hippos? More Like Commie Commie Hippos.

The marbles belong to the state, comrade.

I found your article funny, Willow, because my kids play a different version of Monopoly, too, where just when you’re about to win the game, the government takes 70% of your money and gives it to all the losers.

I’ve also sold over 100 copies of my own version of Clue, where players try to discover who murdered the US Constitution. The answer is Barak Obama.

You see, your games teach your kids to skip around with flower wreaths and Tambourines, spreading the myth of global warming, setting terrorists free, and killing American jobs with hugs and lesbian kisses. My games teach independence, strength, using your own brain, and how to live without big-brother government handouts. It teaches them their rights, and who to shoot when they get taken away.

Other games I’ve altered for my kids:

  • Candyland Border Patrol
  • Pin the Blame on the Donkey
  • Mad- as hell -Libs
  • Liberal Media Balderdash
  • Waterboarding and Ladders
  • Suicide Bomber Battleship
  • Back- to the gold standard -Gammon
  • Welfare State Scattergories
  • Government Surveillance Pictionary
  • Police the World Risk

I’m also working with a developer to create my own version of World of Warcraft for isolationists: America of Warcraft. We’ll see which game is better. Let the free market declare a winner.

- Bill